Even worse: force everyone to sit in a circle and, one by one, say a few words about themselves.
Gives me shivers just thinking about it.
Back in the ‘80s, I dated a man who threw a Halloween party at his house every year.
I attended a couple of Halloween parties while in college but always felt uneasy, more so than any other party. I just couldn’t put my finger on why.
While attending one of that boyfriend’s Halloween parties, I finally realized what bothered me: Too often, I didn’t know who I was talking to, yet I had to make small talk. And, even worse, if their costume included a mask of any kind, I couldn’t read their eyes or facial expressions. I might as well have been wearing a blindfold.
Plus, I don’t like being scared. You’ll never see me paying to go into a haunted house, or watching horror movies. I find some Halloween costumes, especially those with masks, frightening. And the wearers of such masks usually get off on terrifying people like me.
Not my idea of fun.
My awakening to this discomfort around people in costumes came when mirrored sunglasses were the rage. I hated talking to anyone who wore them because I couldn’t read their eyes. Were they even looking at me? If the person didn’t remove their sunglasses within the first sentence or two, I considered them rude and wouldn’t engage in further conversation.
I didn’t realize it then, but later I learned that, for an introvert/empath/highly sensitive person, my reactions in these settings were normal. I rely on eye contact, facial expressions, and body language to interpret the entire message the person in front of me is relaying along with their words (consciously or subconsciously). Costumes—and sunglasses—make that almost impossible.
So yeah, a costume party is my idea of a nightmare. Everyone disguises all the usual social cues. Which is why, I guess, others (extroverts especially?) love Halloween. Costumes allow them to be unseen in the usual sense, granting permission to act outside of, or amplify, their usual personalities.
My aversion to Halloween is real, even while appreciating the creativity of some costumes. I’ll never forget a guy in my boyfriend’s circle of close friends who had a catchphrase. Whenever the topic was some random task that needed doing, he would invariably say, “Piece of cake.” He showed up to the Halloween party dressed as… a piece of cake.
Another introvert “rule” broken by Halloween traditions: strangers coming to my home. After dark. Uninvited. I leave outdoor lights off for a reason, people. Thankfully, for the past 20 years I’ve lived in rural areas where kids (and their parents) going door to door for trick or treat isn’t a thing. Too dark (no streetlights), too much distance between houses. Whew.
And these days, older and wiser, I turn down invitations to large and/or costume parties, Halloween or otherwise. I know the introvert’s “ordeal” part of such an event will far outweigh any fun I might have.
Even if there is a dog willing to hide with me in a corner of the house.
Tell me: What do you love, or hate, about Halloween?
[If you want to learn more, in 2019 I wrote this post about what it means to be an introvert.]
Feature image by magnific.
