Practicing Patience

Posted on by Rebecca Wallick

There’s an aspect of the memoir writing and publishing process that no one warns you about: how much patience is required. Especially as you’re approaching the finish line.

You spend years thinking about your story, nurturing the concept, researching. Maybe you spend a few more years writing it, in dribs and drabs, testing ideas. Finally, with the focus that eluded you for so long, you sit day after day for months on end and actually write your book.

You realize your memoir shape-shifted over time. What you thought of writing years ago isn’t what you write now. Some chapters, upon review and reflection, becomes a therapy session you cut from the manuscript because no one – not even you – wants to read that stuff.

You revise. And revise some more. Add photos. Select epigraphs. Give titles to chapters. Your “baby” is growing up, getting closer to launching into the world.

You send your memoir to a developmental editor for feedback. The weeks-long wait after so much daily progress is excruciating. How to fill those suddenly free hours? Do you keep revising while you wait, or just… wait?

This is good practice in the art of patience. Especially if you’re an impatient self-starter and go-doer who rarely collaborates for this very reason.

After seven weeks, the developmental editor’s report and in-manuscript comments arrive in your inbox. Fear grips your innards before you open either doc. Did he hate it? Think it’s utter shit and tell you to start over?

No. But he has lots of suggestions. Weeks of major revisions follow. Your manuscript is gaining refinement and polish. You find you actually like it.

Your much-revised manuscript flies through the ether to a line editor. Another wait, but this time only two weeks. Easy, after all that practice.

But no, your impatience rears its ugly head. While waiting for those line edits, you send the manuscript to four beta readers (with caveats about typos). You’re eager for reader feedback.

While waiting for their feedback, you significantly revise your final chapter. You send it to your beta readers with a mea culpa, asking their forgiveness for the confusion.

You start thinking about who might offer a useful blurb for your memoir. You’d like at least one blurb (or a portion of one) to go on the cover. Others will go in the Praise section of the front matter. You make a list of names and start sending email inquiries: Would you be willing to read my manuscript and possibly offer a blurb?

Some of these people you know, others are strangers but experts in their fields. You feel exposed and vulnerable. What will they think of your book? Of you (since it’s a memoir)? But this is a necessary part of the process. You thicken your skin.

Patience truly comes into play at this point. Whether it’s your beta readers or potential blurbers (is that a word?), you quickly learn they read and respond at their own pace. A couple beta readers get right on it, and toward them you have bottomless gratitude. (They’re both bloggers. They understand.) Other readers have lives and obligations and fit reading your manuscript in when they can. They also earn your gratitude while simultaneously reminding you of the value of patience.

One potential blurber both read and sent you a blurb quickly. Gratitude. Other potential blurbers respond quickly to your email inquiry, but with their own ask: Can it wait until November? Can it wait until the first of next year?

You decide it can. You hoped to publish by the holidays. It takes some effort to adjust your goal along with your patience, but you recognize how valuable their blurbs could be.

Besides, you’ve had trouble finding a graphic designer for your cover. You can’t publish a book without a great cover. Messages sent to artists via websites don’t receive either a yay or a nay. Frustration and impatience grow as you wait two or more weeks for a response. Finally, you connect with someone referred by another writer. Responding to your inquiry, that artist asks, Can it wait until November?

Yes. A surprisingly easy yes. In fact, your patience has grown so flexible by now, you tell her it can wait until December. By then, you hope to have several blurbs to choose from, giving her the best one(s) to include in the cover design.

While all that played out, you gave two book readings from your first book. It was published ten years ago. You remember how impatient you were at every step. The readings remind you how waiting paid off back then.

You know from that experience that nurturing a book – from the ideas swirling in your mind to a tangible collection of pages you hold in your hands, reading from it to audiences – is worth enduring the wildest roller coaster ride.

You’d simply forgotten how the process is a master’s level lesson in patience.

Feature photo: My three dogs demonstrating the art of patience on October 19, 2023.

Published by Rebecca Wallick

I delight in exploring the national forest near my Idaho home on foot, whether trail running, hiking, or xc skiing, with my two dogs by my side, taking photos of nature and wildlife. An author and freelance writer, I love observing and writing about the natural world, and dogs, and am a long-time contributing editor at Bark magazine. I used to practice law for a living. I much prefer the writing life.

17 thoughts on “Practicing Patience”

  2. I was feeling pretty unhappy with how long it’s taking me to sit down and finish my draft, after starting two years ago and only working on it intermittently since then. But after reading this, I think I had unrealistic expectations that I would be one of those people to get it written in only a few months and be ready to start the editing process. So yes, patience is key, with myself as well as with the editors who will be helping me as I’m further along in the process. Thanks for this great post, Rebecca.

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    1. We’re all a writing experiment of one, Kim. I’m hoping you won’t take ten years, though, which seems to be my average per book so far. But then, I’m a master procrastinator. I’ve found it’s helpful to put your goal out there into the big world, or in the ears of a few trusted friends. It’s easier, at least for me, to actually put in some work than have to explain why I haven’t made any progress.

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  4. I’m always amazed at the writer and the creative process. Your emotional description allowed me to feel (clenched stomach) how your were feeling in your heart and your head. It’s like auditioning for the most important thing in the world not just once but EVERY TIME YOUR SEND IT OUT. Your guts are exposed and vulnerable. We are pulling for you and look forward to reading it. Your second book will be great as was your first…why? Because it’s you…a fine writer!!
    shelle

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  5. Becky,
    I’m glad you wrote this. I just finished writing my book and my daughter beta read it for me and I’ve gone through a full hardcore edit. One person, who I asked to beta read for me backed out and now I’m thinking — do I even need another beta reader? Is it polished enough to send out to different agents? How long does that take? I have so many questions. I’m currently working on a query letter and writing a synopsis for my book. I’m completely confused by the synopsis part. Anyway, how do you plan on publishing — traditional or some other way? Do you have an agent or plan on getting one? Are you writing a synopsis? Now that I can see again (no more cataracts, yay!), I miss the group you had in place. I’m sorry it didn’t work out. Y’all were giving me valuable feedback at the time and I hope I was doing the same. At least my book is finished or, perhaps, all but finished, and now I just have to find the courage to write the query letter and find an agent and, also, come up with enough online presence so that a traditional publishing house will be willing to take a risk on me. Still lots of work to do! Mona

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    1. Mona – so glad you’re back in the writing saddle with restored eyesight!
      Also glad to hear you’ve written your manuscript and are now figuring out next steps.
      You’re questions give me an idea for a new blog post: traditional vs nontraditional publishing, pros and cons as I’ve encountered them. Stay tuned!

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  6. That resonates for me. I have just published a book of poetry and prose, also collaborated with an artist for the cover (and illustrations). That was not without its challenges. I have almost endless patience with myself, but not much patience with technology. But I agree that patience grows. It’s a skill just like anything else.

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    1. The whole process of writing for public consumption is humbling and teaches patience. “For anything worth having one must pay the price; and the price is always work, patience, love, self-sacrifice – no paper currency, no promises to pay, but the gold of real service.” John Burroughs

      Congrats on publishing your work!

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  7. Nice summary of what you’ve been going through, for writers and nonwriters alike. Yes, it’s a lot of hurry up and waiting. I’m glad your patience is paying off so far. I have enjoyed reading the draft of your book! Just a little more time to wait for more responses…

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